My friend Matt asks a question that, surprisingly, different Christians disagree on:
"Does God have that one person for you?"
Monica and I actually spent a month apart from each other before dating to seek God and listen to His voice. We decided to pray and ask him whether or not we were meant for each other. He spoke to me loud and clear on the 30th day.
What do you think? Does everyone who's meant to be married have one perfect person out there for them? Interestingly, Monica and I disagreed over this before we got married. It actually grieved me that we felt so differently. I think we might even still disagree about this!
I have my thoughts.What are yours?
9 comments:
I think God wants us to be committed to whoever it is we choose to say "I do" to. Even if he or she ISN'T the right one, once you leave the altar, God's desire is that we depend on Him to work it out.
God lays down a few rules for us, but other than those, I think we have a freedom to choose who we want to marry. The person you marry must be equally yoked, and they must be of the opposite sex.
God makes it clear that the marriage-relationship is the second most important relationship we're ever going to have, next to our relationship with him. We recognize that God intends for us to meet certain people and arranges for us find people at the right time and right place so that we could do his will and witness to them/comfort them/share his love with them.
Without digging any deeper than that, I'm inclined to say that God wouldn't leave something as heavy as marriage so open ended. Regardless, like Dan said, it's pretty clear that once we're committed, God isn't very down with us breaking things off.
i'm on dan's page!
I agree with most people in that the commitment to a spouse under God transcends choosing the "perfect" one. That being said, I do believe that for some people, God does prepare a spouse for them, granted that they pray and follow God whole-heartedly first. However, that God might specifically intend for two people to marry doesn't guarantee a successful marriage; it relies on the couple to stay committed to each other in God's will and to demonstrate Christ's love in them through their relationship.
I don't think that every person has a "soulmate;" but from the lives and testimonies of other God fearing-people I've met, those who specifically pray that God prepare a spouse for them generally seem to have that prayer answered; those who usually follow the guidelines given in the Bible still end up having successful marriages.
I don't know if that really made sense, but my main viewpoint is that it isn't necessarily a concrete "Yes, God prepares a soulmate for everyone," or "no, we have complete freedom to choose our spouse given that they are the opposite sex and Christian." And an underlying foundation for a good marriage more significant than finding someone is still commitment.
Thanks for the thoughtful response... I actually really appreciated reading your take on this. And I agree with all so far, that regardless, no marriage is "perfect" and must be a committment that's unwavering.
i don't know if we really have that one special person, but if you get married to that person then God allowed it to happen, and if you want a successful marriage, it might be better to think that that person IS the perfect one for you, and be committed to them.
i don't know if we should constantly look for that perfect one... but regardless, my parents have always encouraged me to pray for my future spouse, and i know they have been praying for mine since i was young
After some thought, I think for some God does have one person. For some God has singleness. However, I feel like we are missing the widow here.
Initially I thought, yes God's plans are perfect, therefore the person one marries if God chooses to have him/her be married is the one for them! But then I thought: what about the people who God, in His sovereignty, chooses to marry, experience loss, and then remarry? Was their previous husband/wife not "the one," or are there perhaps more than "one."
On the flip side again, the idea of the Church being the Bride sort of implies that we, His people, were made just for Him.
On the flip flip side, I feel like God's original intention in marriage was to be between two and two only. That only because of sin and death there is this issue of the widow (not to say to remarry is unnecessarily unbiblical).
I'm not sure if this stream of thought was coherent but yeah...
if there's "the one" then that means if you chose wrong, you jacked it up for everyone else.
but then again...maybe that explains why there are so many broken marriages...
Thanks everyone for you thoughts... very interesting stuff.
I'll post my story and my thoughts in a new post...
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